Pursuit of Peace of Mind...

So, for the past two months I have been applying a bleaching cream to the brown spots on my face at night when I go to bed. Thankfully, this hasn't had the same reaction as the 14% Triluma that I tried out two years back. My skin actually hasn't changed at all with this new cream, except that in the last few days before the scheduled chemical peel I did notice a slight burn happening whenever I put the cream on (which I assume is a good thing).

On Wednesday (two days ago) I had the deep chemical peel. This is supposed to strip back the layers of skin and expose the fresh skin underneath which will even out my skin tone and reduce the appearance of the brown spots. Let me tell you, I never prayed so hard in my life for those five minutes that the solution was on my face! 'Burn' does not begin to describe it! As I've told my close friends, it felt like millions of red ants were crawling and feasting on my face. After that, I has to keep splashing cold water on my face and then pat it dry. You could see the frosting of my skin (which apparently is a good thing) and after a few minutes, it started to subside and just left my skin very red. Much similar to a roasted tomato.

Right now I am home and out of commission for about a week while the peel works its magic. It's Day Three and my skin is very tight (I feel like calling myself Botox Head) and glossy - much like a bad sunburn, which is exactly what my dermatologist said it would feel like. Of course it feels tighter if I splash water on my face, so I've been given a cream - imagine Vaseline to the power of a thousand - to slather on generously at night to ease the tightness. This makes for very messy pillows, I can tell you that! It also doesn't help if you move a lot in your sleep, and I often find myself waking up to my hand covered in the stuff from touching my face, or hair stuck to my cheek which is quite irritating!

All in all, I'm excited to see what will happen from here. My skin is very red and tender but once the dead skin starts peeling off (which should be by Day Four), I've been told I will have 'baby's skin'... yay me! Of course the pigmented spots will not be completely eliminated by this procedure but they will be greatly reduced. If, in a few months, once my skin is completely healed (with lots of sun protection - I'm on the strictest orders for the next three weeks) from the chemical peel, I feel the need to discuss something more permanent like Benoquin, then I think I will head back to the dermatologist upon my return from London and see how necessary that is. 

For now, I'm just looking forward to not needing to rely on my MAC makeup so much every time I leave the house - it has a tendency to grease up after a few hours of wear, especially in a tropical country like Trinidad! But, thanks to a very special person who thinks I'm "more beautiful without makeup on", I've been feeling a lot more confident, even with my roasted tomato face!

Your Skin and the Sun...

Before getting into the more personal aspects of what living with Vitiligo has been like, I would like to use this post to answer a few of the more practical questions that have been sent to me regarding my skin, first and foremost being of course - SKIN CARE.

Do you really wear SPF 100 every day?

No. It depends on the length of time I plan to be in the sun, how active I intend on being whilst exposing my skin to the sun and also the daily weather forecast. I generally wear makeup that contains SPF (ranging from 15 to 30) in it, which protects my face and neck. I also sometimes have a fringe (or bangs as it is called in the West) which can help protect my face from the sun, or make a style statement by wearing hats, scarves or sunglasses... There's no reason why we cannot have fun whilst protecting our skin...

I wear protection on my arms, chest and shoulders if I am going to be exposed to the sun frequently during the day e.g. when out shopping, hanging out in the park or when I was in the playground back in my school days and we were not allowed to stay in the classrooms at break time. This only needs to be about SPF 30 if I am switching between being inside and outside often, but common sense dictates that even when outside, I try to walk or sit in the shade.

SPF 100 is what I use MOST DEFINITELY when I will be spending a hot afternoon outdoors at a BBQ or in the park or a day at the beach, which in any case is a rare thing for me (despite being an island girl!). The sun's rays are most harmful during the hours in which people tend to visit the beach (mid- to early afternoon), so I try myself to go either very early in the morning or later on in the afternoon (after 3pm) when the sun will not be as strong. Of course, this is sometimes inconvenient for everyone else in the group wanting to sunbathe etc. so I will wear a T-shirt sometimes as well as my SPF100, swim for shorter periods of time, as the water reflects the sunlight, and reapply sunblock often. Once again, it never hurts to wear a hat and/or sunglasses whenever you can.

Like I said, there is no reason to not look good whilst protecting your skin. I have acquired a number of cardigans, scarves and light jackets to carry with me when out and about, perhaps when I may not have any more sunblock or sometimes don't wish to have the hassle of constantly having to reapply. There are a lot of stylish coverup options available that are in light, breathable fabrics that won't be bothersome on a hot day.

How does your skin react in the sun without protection?

When I was nine years old, having never really protected my skin whilst it was dark, we had a serious wakeup call after a long day at the beach in Trinidad. By this point, my skin was now completely patchy with both dark and white patches all over my body due to the Vitiligo. I got sunburn and sunstroke and woke up the next day with water-filled blisters from head to toe. My skin was so sensitive to movement because of the blistering (the breeze blowing on it, an insect flying past etc.) that every morning for almost two weeks I would sit in a bathtub filled with cool water for hours on end every morning when I woke up. I looked like I had been burnt in a fire and the burn was verbally compared to first or second degree fire burns by my doctor, who actually could not find a suitable place to inject me for a booster shot I was due to have.

After about a week the blisters started bursting and deflating, after which my skin was sore and red all over from the sunburn, and then of course after some time, my skin started peeling. This experience was enough to ensure that any time spent in the sun, especially at the beach, meant that I HAD to be fully protected.

A mild day of sun, where I may be shopping or running errands, will leave me sunkissed and slightly pink without any protection. As mentioned before, I try to spend as much time in the shade as possible if I have to be outside without sunblock, or I carry a light jacket to wear when I can't avoid the sun.

Having Vitiligo means your skin does not have the protection it would normally have, whether you have a single patch or many patches, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that you have a way of protecting your skin. There is a greater risk for skin cancer and this is no joke. Sunblock can be smelly, it can also be inconvenient or irritating to have to constantly reapply, I totally empathise with this and will admit that I am not always willing to be as responsible as I should with sunblock... However, I have stressed that there are other ways to protect yourself. If your patches are on your face and neck, try using makeup or a moisturiser with SPF content to provide some protection. I currently use MAC makeup which has proven to be very effective, however, anything that provides a barrier between your skin and the sun should work (especially if it is waterproof which will protect against swimming and/or perspiring during the day!)

Remember that your lips may also have lost pigment. Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise! And make sure your lip balm or lipstick of choice also provides sun protection. Most of them do nowadays.

Please note that skin protection is VITAL for ALL SKIN TYPES and ALL RACES, even if darker skin tones are naturally more protected, this does not matter in the long run. EVERYONE is prone to sun damage and even skin cancer, so regardless of whether you have Vitiligo or not, be aware of your skin's relationship to the sun.