Frustration

Everytime I think I've got it under control and people have seen enough of me to warrant less ignorance and a little more respect, some toad crawls out from under their rock and makes a totally stupid, indiscreet, completely tactless comment about my skin colour that just makes me so angry by this point. I guess this is partly because of all that I've tried to do in the past year and a half to shed more light on my condition, including hosting the first Walk for Skin in Trinidad, that I'm surprised that such a small country could still have people who haven't paid attention to any of this and opened their minds a little bit.


My partner's neighbour decided the other day to comment to him rather blatantly:


"Aye, we see you bring this white girl home by you sometimes - she's like a vampire man! Where did you find her?"


Which, of course, warranted the string of obscenities my partner couldn't hold back and needless to say, he no longer speaks to his neighbour.


Today, I came home to find a comment on a Facebook photo in which I am tagged (in a friend's album from 2 years ago), where someone I don't know decided to actually press the Submit button and ask:


"Wow!! How is she so white like that?!"


This really rattles my nerves. First of all, because I AM TAGGED in the photo. Which means that you are such a bloody tactless human being that you couldn't even ask your question in a private message to my friend, but instead didn't mind that I saw the extent of your ignorance. Not to mention that were I a weaker person, your comment would make me feel like I was a lesser human being because you felt the need to point out something I have no control over - my skin.


But what really annoys me about these situations is that these are 'my own people', Trinidadians, some of the most ethnically and racially mixed people on earth, making these comments towards ME, one of their own (although admittedly I don't always feel like I belong). Furthermore, sometimes I just wish I could flip the script: how about I call out to a very dark person across the street one day and address them as "Blackie!!" in front of crowds of people? Or how about I comment on a photo about someone's dark skin colour? Do you know how unacceptable (even racist) that would be of me?! 


So how is it any different when it is someone who is "too pale"?! And why do people even feel the need to comment on the obvious? Yes, my skin is white, anyone with half their vision can see that, what contribution did you think you were making to the grand scheme of the world when you chose to point it out?


Answer me that.

Allow me to introduce myself...

A few months ago, my life was a little bit of this and a little bit of that, living it to the best of my ability and yet, like every other human being should be, getting frustrated at the world and at myself for not being able to do more, say more and be more.

A few weeks ago my story living with the skin condition Vitiligo came to light and the response worldwide was overwhelming within a few hours of publishing in the newspapers and online - I never expected it. The recent death and turbulent life of Michael Jackson, who once said that he had Vitiligo, made this story even more publicized due to the fact that I have changed from having dark skin to now being completely white, proving that it is indeed possible.

I am still dealing with the snowball effect of the past few weeks. Overwhelming does not begin to describe the path that I have now been put on, in terms of phone calls, interviews and messages of support (but not always) which have been coming from every corner of the globe. For me, this was unexpected. I have lived with this condition since the age of five, I am now 23 years old. This is my version of "normal". This is my every day.

I have realized that to others, however, this is more than unusual, and for some, it could be a means of support. Following my most recent interview on the NBC's Today Show, as well as the Inside Edition on CBS, the amount of emails and messages I have received from other sufferers of Vitiligo, whether to offer support or to ask various questions about coping with the condition, has pushed me to start this blog as a way of responding to you and hopefully connecting you to each other.

Growing up, I had no one within my age group who had Vitiligo to help me with my condition. It was all on my parents to improvise and I think they have done a fantastic job, considering what they had to work with. They have given me, throughout my life, the confidence to now go ahead and do what it takes to bring whatever awareness I can by sharing my story. I hope this blog can help you, and please believe that the entire experience has been very cathartic for me in raising some past demons and dealing with them, even if it is years down the line.

I don't have all the answers. I'm not sure I have any of the answers. The most I can do is share my own experiences and leave it for you to discuss. Each new blog will share a story, a situation or a lesson that I went through during my time with Vitiligo. If any one of these stories helps someone in any way, whether you have Vitiligo or not, then I believe I have achieved something.

My name is Darcel de Vlugt. I am a Trinidadian woman of mixed heritage who was born with dark skin. My skin is now completely white due to the skin pigmentation disorder known as Vitiligo.

Welcome to my world...