Everytime I think I've got it under control and people have seen enough of me to warrant less ignorance and a little more respect, some toad crawls out from under their rock and makes a totally stupid, indiscreet, completely tactless comment about my skin colour that just makes me so angry by this point. I guess this is partly because of all that I've tried to do in the past year and a half to shed more light on my condition, including hosting the first Walk for Skin in Trinidad, that I'm surprised that such a small country could still have people who haven't paid attention to any of this and opened their minds a little bit.
My partner's neighbour decided the other day to comment to him rather blatantly:
"Aye, we see you bring this white girl home by you sometimes - she's like a vampire man! Where did you find her?"
Which, of course, warranted the string of obscenities my partner couldn't hold back and needless to say, he no longer speaks to his neighbour.
Today, I came home to find a comment on a Facebook photo in which I am tagged (in a friend's album from 2 years ago), where someone I don't know decided to actually press the Submit button and ask:
"Wow!! How is she so white like that?!"
This really rattles my nerves. First of all, because I AM TAGGED in the photo. Which means that you are such a bloody tactless human being that you couldn't even ask your question in a private message to my friend, but instead didn't mind that I saw the extent of your ignorance. Not to mention that were I a weaker person, your comment would make me feel like I was a lesser human being because you felt the need to point out something I have no control over - my skin.
But what really annoys me about these situations is that these are 'my own people', Trinidadians, some of the most ethnically and racially mixed people on earth, making these comments towards ME, one of their own (although admittedly I don't always feel like I belong). Furthermore, sometimes I just wish I could flip the script: how about I call out to a very dark person across the street one day and address them as "Blackie!!" in front of crowds of people? Or how about I comment on a photo about someone's dark skin colour? Do you know how unacceptable (even racist) that would be of me?!
So how is it any different when it is someone who is "too pale"?! And why do people even feel the need to comment on the obvious? Yes, my skin is white, anyone with half their vision can see that, what contribution did you think you were making to the grand scheme of the world when you chose to point it out?
Answer me that.
I've never commented on any of your posts before, I've just read them & silently gave my appreciation. However I quite enjoyed this one, you stated some things I've always thought about but never verbally acknowledged. Sometimes when you write, it sounds like many things I want to say to the idiots out there but I'm never brave enough to do so, therefore thank you for that :)
ReplyDeleteI was scrolling the web and came across the Today video and an interview. Im a 21 year old male from London, I agree with Gabby and i hope i'm not speaking out of turn when i say I think the condition is nothing to be hostile about. I had a friend with the same condition in secondary school and i thought it looked cool. he had it around his neck and upper face and i can remember thinking "man, why cant i have that" or "that looks so cool" i think i liked it because there was this contrast or fight between beauty, uniqueness and imperfection and it was all taking place within him and so his eyes were very awe-like and enlightening and his skin was clear but there was this imperfection trying its best to outshine his beauty but instead of ruining him, to my eyes because of the way he held himself, it sort of heightened it all and put him at this next almost angelic model-like level....i see the same thing when i look at your pictures only i wish you would see it also and don't let it be downgraded by peoples opinions. If there were an animal say a squirrel with a black patch on his forehead and another on his tail wouldn't that be a beautiful squirrel?, society would hail that squirrel and call it cute, kids would want it as a pet. Everyone has insecurities, their weight, their hair some are visual some are not. There is always someone in a worse condition than we are. what is beauty that we should care about it? let alone what others say about our beauty? I saw a picture of a starving african child who was said to be crawling towards an offscreen food shelter set up by the red cross and he was on his last legs he couldn't have been more than a year old and yet he was alone no mother or father in this desert like setting and there was a vulture on the sand waiting for him to die so he could eat the corpse. A few days later the photographer who won a prize for that photo committed suicide. Personally i think, the worst thing anyone can do is set about life trying to gain respect from people. As if we set about trying to gain respect we are living their lives not ours. we want to be accepted and that is a potentially dangerous concept. we as humans should be encouraged to live introvertedly. like children do. when i look at your child hood photos you seem so devil-may-care. Like i said i hope im not being ignorant, my response may well be different if i was in your shoes. but i speak from the heart and i wouldn't write it if i didn't believe it. As for the comments from people. Don't feed into it. if you feed into it its just gonna escalate. Anger is too easy of an emotion to spend. "turn your sorrow into treasured gold" to quote Adele. I wish you luck on your career, i saw a picture and it looked good You're a good designer. All the best.
ReplyDeleteMy white Bulgarian best friend is married to someone from Trinidad and when she was living in Trinidad and there were some people who made comments like this.Boeing a mixed couple they decided to move to Bulgaria and her husband had problems of the same nature. Eventually they decided to move to London and people here are excepting of couples with a different skin color.
ReplyDeletehi darcel..loved to see ur profile....this is d same journey dat every gal go thru during vitilgo phase..journey from de pigmentation to complete depigmentation cant be explained in words....it is only felt by vitilgo patients under the umbrella of cruel society............ol d best for ur life.....luv u :)
ReplyDeletefrom white skinned gal :)