There are a couple of young ladies I talk to every so often regarding their skin, and they are at that age where the world seems to be on your shoulders and nobody could possibly know what you’re going through… yes, they are teenagers.
Considering I was once one of those myself, I figure at my ripe old age of 24, I can muster up a decent amount of memories about my own teenage years to share some advice with them… Except that a lot of the time, I sit there in shock and am thinking: Oh my God… Is this how hard it is to be a teenager these days, let alone a teenager with Vitiligo? How did I ever get through it?!
We all know I had my fair share of name-calling – Spot, Dalmatian, Cow – but nothing prepared me to hear that one young lady was called a zebra bitch or that another had a fake tan gone wrong. There was even cruelty to the extent of the following comment:
Why does she even bother to come outside? She should hide herself away with that skin…
It seemed like nothing for me to go through it, it was my version of ‘normal’ at the time, but looking at these beautiful young girls and hearing them recite the horrible things that have been said to them was a huge slap in the face because I couldn’t do anything to protect them from that…
Bullying is a serious issue that still isn’t given the attention it deserves. Words can be just as hurtful as physical blows - you have no idea. I know of relationships where physical harm could never match the emotional and verbal abuse that was dealt. What scares me the most in speaking with these girls is knowing that in an effort to diminish the bullying they are suffering, or to fit in, they might go ahead and allow themselves to be encouraged to do wrong things, especially at this vulnerable age where you’re already trying to figure yourself out. Especially when others around you are doing the same.
Vitiligo is just one more weakness to add to the mix when you are a teenager. Unfortunately, many bullies will use this to their advantage, and, no matter how confident you are, or how comfortable you are in your skin, comments about it will always sting just a little. Enough harassment over the issue and you could easily be swayed to do something hurtful to yourself, your reputation or someone else in order to just be like everyone around you.
My biggest concern is those among us that have the power to influence someone in our lives and the way they treat others. We all have brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, friends’ children and godchildren even, who look up to and often look to us for examples of how to treat others. Let them know when they are wrong, teach them not to discriminate…
Lead by example.
Bullies are insecure creatures. And they know who they are…
Deal with your own insecurity. Don’t try to make company for your misery by bringing others down. Don’t comment on another person’s misfortunes in a negative manner and not expect a young person to hear you or adopt the same attitude. We have a lot more power than we think that can influence others.
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